Forum: Music discussion - Topic: What people say that get on your nerves - Page: 12

punter - "can you play scooter"

Jimmy b - "No way mate"

Jimmy b thinks, I give up, lol.

what?! no scooter?? hehe, just tell him you haven't been to the toy store lately, and would get arrested for operating under the influence. what's next? they're gonna ask you to play segway?

Another Jimmy drinking reference...how many more can we work in this week? It is still a young week....lets go for a record!

"The voices in my head don't like you"


Whahahaha i really like this one:D
Think i'll give it a go

I had that twice this weekend... awful stuff but I had to oblige :(

Haven't read ALL the messages in this forum - but you do get some idiots in the audience:

This is based on people I encountered long before MP3 files were being used (some of them, anyway)

The person that gives you a vinyl single or LP to play - when you are using CDs or a laptop;

The person that gives you a HOME-MADE CASSETTE of music and insists you put it in and press play - to make matters worse, s/he's brought in the wrong cassette and it's classical, jazz or, in extreme cases, AN AUDIO BOOK!;

The person who gives you music on any format, expects you to play it, then blames you (the DJ), or your equipment, for the inferior sound quality - s/he has probably taped it from an AM radio broadcast from outside their area on a cheap cassette;

The idiot at a 70s night who insists that s/he is the majority and DEMANDS "We want MODERN music!" - the DJ is playing Tavares, Boney M, Mud, Sweet and Bay City Rollers and they want Steps and S Club 7 (my nephew Christopher);

The person who (in more modern times) gives you a home-made CD/R(W), with no tracklisting or labels, so you don't know what it is - they have also downloaded it from a dodgy source - the quality is questionable. Or they give you an MP3 CD - one of those CDs on which you can store the entire contents of some 30 albums - and your CD player doesn't play those discs.

Two of my nieces are fraternal (non-identical) twins. Last year, they celebrated their 18th birthday. Their mother hired a pub called the Laurel in Middlesbrough.

Cabaline insisted that all the music that was played had to be her choice - she downloaded stuff from heaven-knows-where (Limewire? and artistes' own sites).

With the artistes' own sites, all you get is a one-minute sample, whereas with the other source, it was peer-to-peer - she put them on a memory stick and, without virus-checking them first, put them into my laptop, on my previous visit.

I played some of them at home, deleting the ones I already had - especially as the ones she had downloaded were, for the most part, one-minute samples - she seems to think that she can get a complete, virus-free version of the song, without paying for it.

When I did the gig, due to those downloads and her insistence on playing only those tracks and othing else, Virtual DJ kept jamming - when I got the computer back home - my home in Taunton, Somerset, that is, it wouldn't shut down properly - "hibernate" meant "hang", "standby" meant "hang" and "shut down" meant "restart".

Turned out to have about 11 viruses in it that it never previously had!

Of course, Arthur Leslie Vasey got the blame for all that went wrong - faulty computer (which was working fine, before Cabaline got hold of it), sound wasn't very loud - it was in the daytime, but, because the pub is in a residential area, a limiter kicks in and it could barely be heard beyond the dancefloor at night-time.

hi @ all, after having a blast reading what everyone experienced i decided to share my latest gig with y´all.

Living in Berlin/ Germany, spinning wheels for about 10 years now, a friends friend of mine asked me if i could dj at his birthday.Doing only mix-cds till then i did see a chance to shine at my first gig in a bigger spot. I like him as a person, so i did it for free so he could spend his money on the location etc. He knows i mostly play Hip-Hop, Rock and Electrotechno (which is a big thing here in Berlin) so i told him he could choose what i play this evening. He decided it would be cool if i could only do techno and not so much "scratching-Stuff" because most of his friend dig this kind of music. But then i told him what tracks i own he´s like "Hey, i know this other guy, he has tons of records you could use." They brought me like 70 records to scan and i also bought a few cds to be prepared.

Two days before the party, nothing was set in stone, nearly 24h before i get a call if i´m still avaible. So i had like a day to set my gear up (searching out records,copying music to the laptop etc). For parties i run a small 486 laptop with atomixMP3 2.3 combined with 2 turntables. I never been to the location before and we met there at 8 in the evening because the manager finally showed up at that time. The party was set to begin at 9. I felt quite worried cause the manager told us we would have to wait till the clubs-dj shows up to set up my gear.

At a quarter to 9 he finally arrived, and acted like he´s god came down to earth."Oh, cant believe this laptop is still running.","I´m using a pc also, but im cooler cause i use timecode-cds to mix." and so on.I then explained to him what tc-vinyl could do, showing him he cant blame me for a fool. You would´nt believe what confuse stuff he told me trying to explain how he works his stuff. After allowing me to use the equipment there, explaining everything to the fullest, settin up my gear etc he did let me do my thing.....i wished.

Let me wrap things up for y´all again.
No Soundcheck, not really familiar with the music and the equipment and location/staff. Turntable, my Laptop, 2 Cd-decks from the club and a 4-line mixer and another tt, 6 or 7 different discolights and me being complete nervous.

So, here wo go. I started at 9, spinning mostly slow stuff, cypress hill and redmans how high,"weed-smoker-anthems" cause a lot of the people here smoke. After getting almost everyone interested in the music, doing really nice cuts,scratches and transitions, a few guys started to cheer and rap along a few lines. I was like yeah, now we can get started, mixing in some other tunes and scratches and suddenly i hear such a terrible bass-scratching, i turn around .....

to see the "clubs-dj" standing at one of my tt´s. Not enough that that damn bastard scratched while i was at work, he threw in such a hard techno record that everyone in the club was like wtf?? looking at me, thinking i´m the one doing rap the one minute and jumpstyle at the other. I was like what the hell is wrong with you? "Hey,cant you see noone is dancing?"-"Yeah, the party began 20 min. ago. Let them get a drink, let them have theit social live. Why the f do you play such a record when i´m doing my thing. I have a prepared set allready." He didnt really care and told me that in ten min he would have to leave, then i can do rap again. I was thinking, are you kidding me??? All the guests will be gone after this genre-hopping. Finally he left after 10 min like he said.

After cooling my mind and enjoing my first-time-ever-5-records-live-set the records-owner came up to hang in the booth and see what i can do with his records. Shortly after some friend of him came up, asking he he could spin a record himself, cause he borrowed it to my friend/recordowner. I thaught ok, let another one mess up my mixing and went for the bar to get a drink. I must admit he did a fairly good job transitining some of the records, but then f+cked up big time mixing in Westbams "Beatbox-Rocker". The borrowed record. Again WTF?

So i went and took things in my hands, making clear noone gets to spin here unless he looks like the one in my mirror :D
And suddenly, super-terrible-bass-scratching. I looked over at the record playing, having the fear to see the club-dj again, but no, 2 random chicks were standing next to the tt. They look at me, look at the record, look at each other,look at me....scratch!! Im very nice to girls in general, so i was asking,"hey, what are you doing? Are you two the djs for tonight or isit me?" They had the classic reindeer-look in their face, proberly cause i yelled at them and turned out the music at the same time....They than spend the rest of the night in front of the booth dancing, but i always had to keep an eye on them. Not fun at all.
The next 5-6 hours things went crazy. I had like 150 guests dancing, from about 220 guests in general. There was one group of about 6 people that danced like no tomorrow.

Now this is where things get interesting. There was one guy in blue, one in red, one with a hat, and one that had the deepest voice i ever heard.period.

First, the guy in blue steps up: Can you play some cypress hill?-I played it in the beginning,about 9 o´clock.-Damn, i must have missed it.Can you play it again?-Listen,now techno is playing.Playing CH clears the floor in seconds.-I dont care, i wanna hear it!!!! Can you play some other rap than?-O, how about RunDMC,its techno-mixable.->playing rundmc, the guy comes back, asking when rundmc will be played, i told him right now, he said this isnt rap, this is techno...while the speakers where blasting:check it out, jammaster jay and run dmc, funky fresh for the year 2000 :D->My adidas. Electro remix done by me.

Then, the guy in red: I want something faster...play sth faster!- Just wait, were getting there.- I want it faster now! If you play faster everyone will be dancing.- Look, everyone IS dancing :D:D

Then, the Hat-guy: hey, play sth SLOWER(!), the music plays to fast. The original is wayyyy slower.-- Come on man, look at this thing here it is called pitch.Can you see it says +/- 0??? Music spins as fast as the artist who made it wanted it to.--Other djs play it slower--Other djs dont work here right now :D

Deep-Voice-Guy.: Heyyyy, can you play some 80´s?-Sure, will Madonna do it for you?-- No, i mean things like Meat Loaf,Modern Talking or so.--Sorry mate, dont have these with me.

Funny thing is each one of them came back at me asking exactly the same, getting exactly the same answer :D Its like they cooperated to get on the djs- nerves. Hey, now its your turn.Go,annoy the dj :D After 6 hours of the same ol´same ol i had enough, i played a slow track fast, a faster track really slow, some real f+cked up 80-gabba remix switching to madonna to calm the crowd down. I then backspinned, put a battle tool record on with curses and disses, and while playing battle-dj i pointed on those mofo´s. Everyone had a real good time and quite a few laughs, cause over the night the people noticed them getting to the booth again and again and again.

I then performed a lil rock set, like Z-Trip does. Some AC/DC,some Nirvana, some Ring of fire..... and than things got crazy. Someone started a fight, several guys joined them, and faster than the human eye can see there was a full-blown-bar-fight with like 50 to 70 people beating the living hell out another while i get maniac at the cuts :D:D Sure to say my set lasted two more mins, then i shut everything off, got my things together and left. :D:D It was livin hell. 23 broken stairs,7 broken tables, 3 broken noses, one big broken mirror, a pipe got ripped out the wall...so a whole lot of water in the club.

It was the most interesting thing to see that all around the world djs have to struggle with the same problems. I read threads like this one before, thinking of how i gonna react in this or that case. Now i know and completely understand where y´all coming from.

Any response is welcome, peace :) (PS. maybe the longest text i have ever written in a forum :) ) and whoever finds all missing "K"s gets...whatever. :P

and for once the boss gave me permission to be an evil bastard (don\'t know what these girls did to tick him off.. but it was kinda fun)

\"we\'ve been bar hopping all night long and everytime we get someplace they\'ve already played our song. you can still play it right?\"

no, sorry ladies we\'ve already played it.\"

\"aw come on! we\'ve been trying to dance to it all night long. you\'re mean. you\'re a mean-ass.

(boss is standing right behind them and has already had to deal with them once)

yes, ma\'am i am. anything else you would like to know about me? my shoe size? how many times i\'ve had to put up with drunk smelly people? where i flick boogers when your back is turned? if you really wanted to hear the song you would have gotten here, stayed here, asked for the song, danced to the song, and saved yourselves an bunch of cash you could have spent getting drunk(er) in one spot instead of paying for cover in 4 bars and spending who knows how much in gas for the car. y\'ll have a good night
i turn away, the boss is now cracking up, laughing so hard he had to leave the booth. good sh*t...

and they still stayed til 3am.


life is good sometimes.
and this is why...

i got a double shot for today!

"I'm a DJ" havent heard that in almost 2 days.

"Trust me, it will mix I'm a DJ!"
girlie wants me to mix a song that is 120bpm with the song currently playing at 144bpm. yeah. sure. not that i couldnt (after all this is VDJ we're using) but it would just sound wrong.

if you're a "dj" then you should know better - stay out of the booth (except to politely ask to look), have a drink, keep your comments to yourself or just leave if you don't like whats going on in the building.


and for part 2 -

"Oh, you use Virtual DJ? Man, I wouldnt trust that program, it cost me my job. It kept on crashing on me after a few hours!"

does anyone need to do the math on this one?...